This video is about a particular type of couple where they come in with one who had a serious medical issue. Either a behavioral or emotional lens offers some great support, but either approach may ignore the interaction dances going. What do we think should be added? Bill Doherty co-created a specialty called “medical family
This colorful type of couple is really a trap. The eager beaver is very motivated for the couples therapy and the turtle is quiet, nervous, or disengaged. Trap one is we overly take the turtle to be “emotionally unavailable” or as psychologically stunted while making the eager beaver out to be an emotionally sophisticated spouse.
As a field, we have neglected to focus on the positive side of guilt as it shows someone how they’ve hurt their spouse. We often confuse guilt and shame. In The Doherty Approach, we have ways to clinically help a spouse own the hurt they’ve caused without rescuing them from guilt (by explaining their behavior
We’re very change oriented, but Andrew Christensen’s highly evidence-based model supports the idea of acceptance in the last phase of couples therapy… things like the personality of our spouse, of some aspects of ourselves that would be hard to change. Clinically, The Doherty Approach differentiates between “I’m this way and I can’t change” from “I
In The Doherty Approach we think that couples bring a broader array of interactional patterns and outside stressors than current models emphasize–and that therapists need a way to prioritize what to work first, and then next, with multi-problem couples.The Family FIRO Model does all of this. For therapists who love attachment, it’s in this model
There are three kinds of agitators to a marriage. The challenge is to use different tools for helping couples with their interactions around each kind. Otherwise, we are one-trick-ponies.Learn more in this short video.