Accept That Which Won’t Change in Couples Therapy

We’re very change oriented, but Andrew Christensen’s highly evidence-based model supports the idea of acceptance in the last phase of couples therapy… things like the personality of our spouse, of some aspects of ourselves that would be hard to change. Clinically, The Doherty Approach differentiates between “I’m this way and I can’t change” from “I am this way but it makes it hard on my spouse and I’ll keep working to lessen the downsides.” And while doing that, to help the other spouse soften when the other is trying to reduce their frustrating behavior.

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