Too often sessions focus on what the therapist thinks is important, and the couple are not with us. Instead, in The Doherty Approach, we ask both spouses what they want to accomplish in that very session and focus on that! Clients should have goals and we as therapists have much more leverage to deepen their
As therapists, we learn to jump on contempt as bad behavior, and focus on it as an individual flaw in the “contemptor and immediate empathy for the one being contempted on. This ignores the backdrop and context that lead to the contempt inside and outside of sessions.
In The Doherty Approach we think that couples bring a broader array of interactional patterns and outside stressors than current models emphasize–and that therapists need a way to prioritize what to work first, and then next, with multi-problem couples.The Family FIRO Model does all of this. For therapists who love attachment, it’s in this model
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to present with more vulnerability than the other partner, for any number of reasons. The challenge in couples therapy is to not tilt the system to individual therapy and instead give both people equal opportunity to express and to engage in their shared struggles.There is risk in over aligning
It’s not uncommon for one partner to have a lot of complaints about the relationship and the other partner basically says, I think we’re fine. Or worse, we’re fine, it’s my partner here who has all the problems.Learn a skill Bill uses to find some immediate traction to ensure the therapy can take off with