There are two ways to feel stuck as couples therapy and they each require a different approach to moving forward. In one situation the couple is stuck (not progressing in therapy) but the clinical relationship is good. Input from colleagues can help the therapist try other approaches. The other, perhaps more common but under-discussed stuckness
This is a multi-decade view Bill Doherty has that marriages are now consumer marriages. “Wants” in a relationship become core, non-negotiable “needs” as people read self-help books and absorb the cultural norm of the personal fulfillment in a soul mate relationship. The problem with consumer marriage is that it emphasizes what I want and not
Historically the “hard” problems leading to divorce were affairs, abuse, and addictions. Those fundamentally compromise personal and relational well-being. The “soft” problems (growing apart, arguing too much, etc.) are related to historical time and culture and the expectations for marriage in the modern era. A key for clinicians is to not treat soft problems (as
It’s a known secret that most couples therapists have marriages with normal struggles and it’s very hard to “do our models” in our own marriages. In The Doherty Approach, we don’t hold therapists and their spouses to perfectionistic standards. We teach what we practice in our own marriages. We don’t have guilt for not being
Historically the field was patriarchal. Male therapists were known to call husbands to share the work going on with the wife. Women were hysterical, too emotional, etc. Time has advanced and now we have flipped the script. It’s casually easy to say that men who show up are “on the spectrum” because they don’t speak
This video is about a particular type of couple where they come in with one who had a serious medical issue. Either a behavioral or emotional lens offers some great support, but either approach may ignore the interaction dances going. What do we think should be added? Bill Doherty co-created a specialty called “medical family