There are two ways to feel stuck as couples therapy and they each require a different approach to moving forward. In one situation the couple is stuck (not progressing in therapy) but the clinical relationship is good. Input from colleagues can help the therapist try other approaches. The other, perhaps more common but under-discussed stuckness

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This is a multi-decade view Bill Doherty has that marriages are now consumer marriages. “Wants” in a relationship become core, non-negotiable “needs” as people read self-help books and absorb the cultural norm of the personal fulfillment in a soul mate relationship. The problem with consumer marriage is that it emphasizes what I want and not

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Historically the “hard” problems leading to divorce were affairs, abuse, and addictions. Those fundamentally compromise personal and relational well-being. The “soft” problems (growing apart, arguing too much, etc.) are related to historical time and culture and the expectations for marriage in the modern era. A key for clinicians is to not treat soft problems (as

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