We go to graduate school, we learn models and theories, and we form our view of the great marriage. Then, couples show up to therapy, and the gap may be big in how their marriage is today versus how it could be. In this video, we briefly explain why that gap should not really come
It’s a phrase Elizabeth invented and explains in this video. It’s a sentiment couples can have as well as therapists, but it’s not a useful mindset for anyone.
Elizabeth has the benefit of asking her father, a master therapist, why about every aspect of what he does in couples therapy! There is no fear in her, and our trainees benefit (and love!) this aspect.
Starting in graduate school, we learn about the self of the therapist. But what about the relational complexities of seeing a couple? A lot of the difficulties working with couples boil down to the awareness of ourselves as therapists in relationship to the system we’ve created.
Bill and his therapist-trained daughter are deeply concerned that the therapy field, once biased against women, has moved towards a bias towards men. We offer an exercise to try next time you’re listening to someone talk about how to help men.