Rant: Viewing a Spouse as Individually Impaired Before Being Capable of Marriage Counseling

This is a multi-decade rant that too many therapists “decide” an individual there for marriage counseling is not “ready” for the work because they have too many individual problems. This means they go back home with the exact same marital problems! The “referred” individual may or may not be interested in personal therapy and even if they are, we’re dooming the couple for months or years until the individual spouse is deemed “healthy enough” for the couples work. By this point, the marriage may be in far worse shape for no reason other than a therapist was playing god by deciding the person wasn’t ready for what they wanted.