Hard vs Soft Problems And Why They Matter

Historically the “hard” problems leading to divorce were affairs, abuse, and addictions. Those fundamentally compromise personal and relational well-being. The “soft” problems (growing apart, arguing too much, etc.) are related to historical time and culture and the expectations for marriage in the modern era. A key for clinicians is to not treat soft problems (as distressing as they may be) as if they were hard problems that for the most part cannot be lived with in a healthy way.

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