Being in an interactional state versus having an individual trait is a vital point for The Doherty Approach. 

We are all capable of many interactional states, but it does not mean we are "stuck" in a trait that replicates itself in all other relationships, or in every scenario in the couple relationship.  

By avoiding individual trait labels (like "he's a distancer"), we are free to help couples in specific interactions and are never puzzled or thrown when they play different roles in other situations.